A downloadable game

You are Babies. 

Your goal is to operate a rocket-propelled-grenade (RPG) to take out the tank menacing your village. 

Your stats are Cute, Needy, and Upper Body Strength.

Distribute a 2, 1, and 0 among your stats, and start with one of your thumbs in your mouth.

Whenever you try to do something and the outcome is in doubt, roll a die and subtract the appropriate stat modifier. 

  • If it's equal to or lower than the number of fingers in your mouth, it succeeds ridiculously.
  • If it's higher, it fails spectacularly but you've learned something along the way. Put another finger in your mouth. Alternatively, another Baby may help you by explaining how you work together to then re-roll the die. Each Baby can only help once per roll.

Babies can never be physically harmed. If harm would come your way, explain how you miraculously avoid it, but cause chaos around you and remove a finger from your mouth. 

You win when you fire the RPG at the tank and save your village.

One player has to take the role of GM (General Motors) and explain what the tank and its insides are up to (and also describe anything else happening in the village).

Thanks to @turgidbolk1 for laying out the PDF for Baby's First RPG, which you can download below.

CategoryPhysical game
Rated 5.0 out of 5 stars
(3 total ratings)
Tags1-page, Comedy, Tabletop, Tabletop role-playing game


Baby's First RPG.pdf 155 kB


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I loved this so much I made a printable version with character sheets: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lGV9zsstMshW_zNsfSHQJJd-0GTm_m55y7PI_UcfVqQ/edit

Please use this by all means.


Oh wow, thanks! If it's OK with you could I add it to the page as a PDF download, and if so please let me know how you'd like to be credited :)


Yep please do! I added my name to the bottom.